Miss B Tales

Okay tumblr teachers, I need some advice.

I need to find a 6th-grade-appropriate book to replace my current historical fiction book, which is BORING.  Any kind of genre fiction would be just fine (Western, science, mystery, whatever).  The main issue is that my students are already avid readers, so anything classic or popular, they are likely to have read.  Additionally, they are mostly above grade level readers, so I don’t want anything too babyish.

Book recommendations, anyone?  Why do you recommend the book you chose?

Additionally, you know you are a huge English nerd when, upon proofreading an e-mail to a parent, you discover this sentence:

“Your child can certainly break the geis against the faculty lounge in his quest for your lost tea-tray!  I’m sure no disaster will befall him.”

(Geis is a concept from Celtic mythology, roughly equivalent to a taboo.)

Glad I proofread the pretentious out of that e-mail.

I want to be the kind of teacher who inspires kids to learn, who teaches them classroom and life skills that they find important, who makes the kids feel cared about on a personal level.  But it’s so hard to put aside my own life and my own needs and my own aspirations, which are so wildly disconnected from this thing where I’m a teacher, to be properly “in the moment” so that I can be an inspiring but also effective educator.

It’s the end of the year, and I feel like I’ve lost an entire class of kids.  I can think of so many things I could have done better.  And I know the key to doing better is putting in more time and more of myself … and yet, a part of me is so resistant to giving myself completely to teaching.  When I think of my students, I want to be the best teacher (and the best person) I can possibly be.  When I think of my life, I wish I spent more time doing all kinds of other things.  I can’t do both—so how do I balance the two?

I guess all I can do is try to cultivate empathy and positivity, while also working on my simpler problems—grading procrastination, stale lesson plans.  I wish someone else could do some of this hard self-improvement work for me, or tell me how to live my life, how to spend my time … but some things we just have to do alone.*

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week.

* And in the company of you fantastic tumblr teachers!

(Advice for acquiring work-life balance and still being the best teacher you can be?)

Today, I …

• fired a musket.
• make a necklace from glass beads, deer tendon, buffalo horn beads, and buffalo bone beads.
• threw a tomahawk and a mousehawk.
• dressed up like a colonial-era lady, peasant girl, gentleman, and hunter.
• won some epic rounds of tug-o-war with an all-girl team.
• tried my hand at woodblock printmaking.

The more enriching and enjoyable experiences you bring to your students, the more enriching and enjoyable experiences you can SHARE with your students.

Teachers are supposed to be a lot of things: wise, loving, kind, but above all, humble.

Sorry, kids, but that ain’t Miss B.  Not today—the day I won the International Fair.

To set up the story:

The International Fair is an annual event at my school.  Students in the 8th grade geography class set up tables advertising a country of their choosing.  They display research and artifacts, but also have a food or two from the country, and at least one game or other activity.  (It’s brilliant, really … thinking of doing something similar with parts of speech or interesting vocab words in English class.)

This year’s students did an exceptional job.  Aside from Winning Everything, I got to participate in a drum circle; taste a dozen unique foods; play a fortune-telling game (which foretold that I would be a teacher … creepy); learn all about New Zealand’s Maori* from some eager LotR fans; and observe kids wrestling.

Which is all fine and good, but did I mention that I won everything?

The first thing I rocked was a game involving horses and a bleeding goat carcass.  Of course, the school version is stick horses and a goat stuffed animal, but R greatly enjoyed describing the actual gruesome game.  In this game, two teams on horseback face off, trying to grab the carcass first and carry it into a goal area.  Yeah, it’s like American football, but the dead animal still looks like an animal.  As the 6th grade girls faced off the 6th grade boys, I knew this game would be all about teamwork, so when one of my little ones grabbed the goat, I was not concerned, but placed myself strategically close to the goal area.  The boys closed in on her; she tossed the goat; and with the closest thing to athleticism I have ever displayed, I caught it and crossed the goal line.

Yes, I am an adult.  Yes, I was unreasonably pleased with myself.

After this gem, there was an EVEN BETTER game, if you can believe it.  This one involved betting chocolate.  You wager up a chocolate bar and get a circle of three people together.  Then, everyone rolls a pair of dice.  The first person to roll doubles has to put on a hat, scarf, and gloves as quickly as possible … and then, he or she can begin devouring chocolate, stopped only when the next person rolls doubles.  Needless to say, I rolled doubles faster and with more frequency than my middle schoolers, because clearly I am Good At Luck, so I got to eat the most chocolate.  Which means I win.  Even if my tummy is a little upset now.

My crowning achievement, however, is one which I almost forgot about.  A student came running up to me and handed me a doughnut on a stick.  “What is this for?” I asked.  “You won the breath-holding contest!” he said.  I had forgotten I had entered the contest earlier in the afternoon.  Somehow, I managed to hold in all of my hot air longer than any of the kids.  (I say kids, because I doubt any other faculty played this game.)  I have been fascinated with breath-holding since I learned that breathing under bridges can kill you**, so I was exceptionally pleased with my showing.

Of course, the fact that I, an adult chaperone to this event, had so much fun means that the kids participating were certainly having EVEN MORE fun, which means that the 8th graders can be exceptionally proud of the time and thought they put into their displays.  Even if it isn’t work for my class, I love to see our kids shine.

* This was extra cool as I am currently reading Cloud Atlas and was having trouble picturing the history/where the heck it was taking place.

** Not a true fact.

Last week, I captured a very rare specimen during my English 6 class … a student note that is actually interesting!  The girls were very reticent to hand it over, so I figured it was a note complaining about class—but no.  This note makes a list of all of the boys in the 6th grade, and why they are not boyfriend material.  For your edification:

• W is a Jerk
• J#1 is shy
• C is rude
• E - WIERD [sic]
• J#2 - scaredy-cat
• R - Okay?

Interestingly, the only fault they could find with J#1 is shyness.  If I were the mother, I might say something about silence is golden, a quiet boy is a good listener, etc. etc., but as I am only the teacher, I read the note, giggled, and deposited it in my Angry Birds note folder for future laughs.

Things I have found on my floor, courtesy of middle school girls (ordered from least to most gross):

1. exploded lip gloss, with dirt and gunk all over the outside
2. unclaimed hair extensions
3. bloody toilet paper that had clearly been used as a make-shift pad* <— exponentially grosser than anything else I’ve encountered as a teacher

* It was actually an 8th grade boy who discovered this gem on my floor.  I told him that someone had “had a bloody nose.”  (And yes, her nose is shaped like a crease, little boy!  Don’t worry your pretty little head.)